Dear Happy Crapper,
Lately, whenever I eat, my stomach pops out like a balloon and it’s super uncomfortable. I can’t figure out why I get bloated. How does it happen, and is there any way I can make it stop?
Bummed and Bloated
Feeling bloated really sucks, and it’s frustrating that no one seems to know how it happens. The TWO biggest things that cause stomach bloating are:
2- Eating Bread
The organ tissue in your digestive system should be 70% water. If that tissue goes below 70%, the valves that attach your stomach and intestines don’t pop open enough, and pressure builds up in your guts and gets trapped there. Big air pockets literally are trapped in your colon, and it makes your stomach blow up. It feels uncomfortable because there’s pressure in there that can’t get out. You can’t burp and you can’t pass gas.
Unfortunately there is no shortcut to getting hydrated. A colonic works best. It’s the fastest and most economical way for the organ tissue to absorb water. You can also go to IV clinic, where they hook a liter of saline water up to your veins. The IV process is very expensive, and often costs as much as $200 per treatment. Drinking water often doesn’t solve the entire problem. If you have mucous in your colon, you wont absorb much of the water your drinking. It will feel like its “going right through you” and yu’ll just urinate shortly after your drink. A colonic removes mucous from the walls of the colon and helps improve absorption.
It’s delicious but most of the bread made in the USA is undigestable. The flour contains an undigestable chemical called AZODICARBONAMIDE. This is a chemical that makes flour more elastic. It is also used to manufacture the rubber used to make yoga mats. Your digestive juices simply do not recognize this chemical (and many other chemicals) as food, and it doesn’t break down in your guts. When chemicals cant break down in your body, pressure build up in your intestines. Azodicarbonimide is BANNED in EUROPE and AUSTRALIA. Since this chemical is part of the flour making process, it is not always listed on food labels. It’s also in most products that are made with white flour, including PASTA, COOKIES, BAGELS, CEREAL, CRACKERS, MUFFINS, and PASTRIES.
If you get bloating after eating bread or a product made of flour, take digestive enzymes. They will help break down some of that “yoga mat rubber” in your guts. There’s all kinds of enzyme formulas out there. Make sure you get the kind that’s formulated to break down carbs.
Take enzymes for a week, and follow up with a colonic or two. Your guts will not be able to deal well with anything that’s not a plant or an animal. That includes chemicals in fast food, packaged food, recreational drugs, prescription drugs, and especially pain relief meds.