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Kitty Marteen CT, Advanced Colonics: Posted on Monday, November 20, 2017 1:06 PM
Dear POOP NERD,
My head feel like it's filled with cement...and it throbs alot. Why is this happening? Is there any way to get rid of chronic headaches, or am I just doomed?
Sincerely, Not getting a head.
Dear HEAD,
One of the causes of a headache is dehydration.
A dehydration headache may occur after sweating when the body loses essential fluids to function properly. ... When the body is dehydrated, the brain can temporarily contract or shrink from fluid loss. This mechanism causes the brain to pull away from the skull, causing pain and resulting in a |
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Kitty Marteen, CT: Posted on Sunday, November 27, 2016 9:48 PM
Dear Happy Crapper, Lately, whenever I eat, my stomach pops out like a balloon
and it’s super uncomfortable. I can’t
figure out why I get bloated. How does
it happen, and is there any way I can make it stop? Sincerely, Bummed and Bloated
Dear Bummed, Feeling bloated really sucks, and it’s frustrating that no
one seems to know how it happens. The
TWO biggest things that cause stomach bloating are: 1-
Dehydration 2-
Eating Bread |
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Kitty Marteen, CT: Posted on Saturday, July 02, 2016 10:05 PM
Dear Poop Nerd,
I have come to the horrible realization that I have really fowl smelling breath. I began to notice that people I'm talking to politely cover their nose. Whenever I get close to little kids, they run screaming "yukky!!!" and my best friend tells me that my breath smells like ass. Could it literally smell like ass?? As in--is there something evil lurking in my gut that is putrifying inside me? How does this happen? Some people have told me that if you remove all the old gunk from your colon that your breath smells way better and healthier. |
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Kitty Marteen, CT : Posted on Friday, August 21, 2015 10:50 AM
Dear Poop Nerd,
Sometimes I eat a few bites of food and my stomach blow up. It sticks out and gets rock hard, and it grosses me out. My gut bulges out of the top of my pants and if I try to squash it down with a spanks type under gear (the kind that smashes your gut bulge down so it doesn't jiggle under your clothes) -- it hurts crazy bad. If I wear wet suit surfing, I look like a penguin that ate a sea lion. Would a colonic help deflate my balloon gut?
Sincerely, Blown Outta Proportion
Dear Blown, |
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Kitty Marteen, CT: Posted on Tuesday, January 27, 2015 4:51 PM
Dear Poop Nerd,
Lately I've heard that people actually put coffee in their colon. What's up with that? I like my Starbucks latte's...but never once have I thought of having coffee of any kind injected into my butt. Can you tell me why this is such a popular practice?
Sincerely, Caffinated
Dear Caffinated, For many years, many people have asked me if coffee enemas are good for liver detoxing. My answer is this: I would not recommend including BLACK coffee into a colonic OR doing it at home with an enema because black coffee is highly acidic and it will irritate the organ tissues. |
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Kitty Marteen, CT: Posted on Wednesday, September 10, 2014 10:45 PM
Dear Poop Nerd, I'm shopping around for colonics and I heard there's two kinds of colonics. Are they all the same? There are different prices for different kinds. I'm sorta confused. What's your opinion on how I can chose the best ones for my bloating and constpation?
Yours Truly, Dilemma Dude
Dear Dilemma, Not all colonics are the same. You'd think there would be some sort of definition to seperate the two types, but it's like calling every kind of transportation that has wheels a "VEHICLE" --whether it's a limo or a moped. |
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Kitty Marteen, CT: Posted on Friday, August 08, 2014 4:15 PM
Dear Poop Nerd, Why do I get constipated and bloated when I travel and fly a lot? I usually have good bowel movements. I poop two or three times a day. But OMG...when I get on a plane and travel, weather its for business or vacation, when I fly on a plane I get constipated or bloated. Then I'm supposed to enjoy my trip, but instead I'm freaking out because I can't poop and my stomach is sticking out. I feel like my stomach blows up ever time I travel. Whats up with that and is there any way to prevent bloating when I travel? |
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Advanced Colonics of Orange County: Posted on Saturday, December 07, 2013 1:19 AM
Dear Happy Crapper, I tried a colon cleaning kit once and the experience was HORRIBLE! Why do people think that drinking gross tasting shakes with fiber and clay in them is good for you? Ewwww! I felt like gagging, and it sent my guts on a roller coaster of constipation and runs all day. WTF?
Sincerely, Traumatized Tummy
Dear Traumatized, Most colon cleansing products on the market--even the ones at the best health food stores are out-dated, old fashioned "BULK AND BLOW" wastes of money. |
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The Colon Whisperer: Posted on Saturday, September 07, 2013 8:12 PM
Dear Happy Crapper, My husband used to be insanely hot--WHEN he was my boyfriend. But now, after we've been married for fifteen years, he looks like he is 9 months pregnant. He acts like it doesn't bother him, but I know he just doesn't want to deal with the fact that unlike me, who got rid of my big fat stomach by giving birth to a baby--not a FOOD BABY, an ACTUAL BABY--my husband still looks like he's ready to give birth any minute. No matter what he does, he cant get rid of that big round hard-as-a-rock stomach, no matter how many times he works out at the gym and how many crunches he does. |
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The Happy Crapper: Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2013 11:25 PM
Dear Happy Crapper, I can't figure out why I get constipated and bloated when I take my anti depressants. Once I had surgery and the same thing happened when I took pain medication. It seems like any time I take medication, I can't poop. Right now I feel alot of bloating. Every time I eat, I feel like throwing up or it feels like it's coming back up. What's the deal with that? The more medication I take, the more I feel like I'm totally blocked up. |
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