Dear Poop Nerd,
Sometimes I eat a few bites of food and my stomach blow up. It sticks out and gets rock hard, and it grosses me out. My gut bulges out of the top of my pants and if I try to squash it down with a spanks type under gear (the kind that smashes your gut bulge down so it doesn't jiggle under your clothes) -- it hurts crazy bad. If I wear wet suit surfing, I look like a penguin that ate a sea lion. Would a colonic help deflate my balloon gut?
Blown Outta Proportion
Dear Happy Crapper,
My husband used to be insanely hot--WHEN he was my boyfriend. But now, after we've been married for fifteen years, he looks like he is 9 months pregnant. He acts like it doesn't bother him, but I know he just doesn't want to deal with the fact that unlike me, who got rid of my big fat stomach by giving birth to a baby--not a FOOD BABY, an ACTUAL BABY--my husband still looks like he's ready to give birth any minute. No matter what he does, he cant get rid of that big round hard-as-a-rock stomach, no matter how many times he works out at the gym and how many crunches he does.
Dear Happy Crapper, I drink--like--a gallon a day of water and my skin is dry, I'm not pooping and I feel tired as hell. I read that dehydration is one of the causes of all those symptoms. But how could I be dehydrated if I drink water all day? Help!
Pooped and Not Pooping
It's great that you're drinking all that water. But the question is...are you ABSORBING the water you drink? Or are you drinking water then running right to the bathroom and peeing it out?
How to Boost Your Energy and Happiness with Colon Cleansing!
By Kitty Marteen, CT
If you were a car, what make and
model would you be? I think I’m a 1987 Mercedes 560. My engine is well built, powerful
and fast. But it’s a gas guzzler. And it’s expensive to maintain. I’d like to
be a Chevy Volt or a Honda all-electric clean energy car as soon as
If you were a car, would you drive every year without ever changing
your oil or topping off your fluids?